No, this is not an ad for a fad diet. It’s more about my propensity for following them.
Actually, truth be told, I struggled a lot with this post, not sure just how much I was willing to confess to you all.
Do you ever do that?
What started as a fun, tongue -in-cheek blurb soon turned into something far deeper as I started really thinking about my lifelong habit of dieting.
Finally, after a week of twiddling with this in draft form, I’ve decided, what the heck, this IS the place where I go to “confess” isn’t it?
And YOU are the people I keep it real for.
So here goes, it’s not a junk or project post, unless you consider ME a project.
Hmmm, guess you could think that, after all, life is an ongoing project isn’t it?
Ok, now that we’ve settled that issue, let’s get back to those 20 pounds, shall we?
Because I really did lose
20 pounds (21 now) since April 1st, and I thought I’d share with you; my loyal friends my successful diet strategy.
So read carefully and follow to the letter and you too could lose that extra weight!
- Wake up one morning and decide that this is the day you are really going to start that diet. Really this time. No fooling.
- Next, listen to a Hypnosis CD for weight loss you’ve had kicking around the house for the last 4 years yet never seriously attempted. (does anyone else out there buy this stuff on infomercials in the wee hours of the morning?)
- Make a very long list of things you want to get done out in your yard. Make sure most of it involves hard, backbreaking, manual labor. Something that will keep you busy every spare moment when you’re home.
- Eat 6 small meals throughout the day (every 2 to 3 hours). Make sure they are right around 100 calories and are low fat and low carb. You will feel like you are eating constantly, but it’s most important that you don’t skip any of these or you will be starving and then eat everything in sight.
- Eat a fairly normal supper….just make sure it is low carb and low fat. Shoot for a plate that’s 75% veggies and 25% protein.
- Drinks lots of water. Lots! Even when you really want to drink something else.
- Avoid alcoholic beverages. Drink water instead. (see #6)
Don’t laugh, I’m dead serious.
This combination really worked for me this time. It was my ‘magic pill’.
I must have been in just the right mood when I listened to that hypnosis program because I have not wanted any candy or sweets at all.
Not even ice-cream!
Had I known it would work I would have tried it so much sooner. Instead it sat in the ever growing pile of diet plans, exercise equipment, and workout CDs. Gathering dust.
Looking back over the years I think I’ve tried just about every fad diet out there, Atkins, South Beach, Slim fast, NutriSystem, Hydroxycut, 6 week body makeover, and Medifast.
Then there was the Grapefruit diet and the Soup diet (remember that one? I still can’t eat cabbage after that!)
I even made up one of my own, the Chocolate diet. Back when you could get candy bars on special 3 for 99 cents.
A Butterfinger for breakfast, Nestle Crunch for lunch and a 100 Grand bar for dinner. It actually worked! (I should get a patent on that one, it could really take off)
See, that’s the tricky thing about fad diets.
They all work, more or less.
I’ve fallen for so many promises of “Fast weight loss!” “Easy!” “No pain!” “Eat anything you want and still lose weight!” “Melt off the pounds without really trying!” “No exercise required!” “Tone your body while sitting on the couch watching TV!” “Take this Magic Pill and you will be the perfect size!” and all the other promises they shout during the paid programming testimonials, so many that I feel like an expert in diets.
In fact, I’m really GOOD at following them.
Just not so good at keeping the weight off once I’m done dieting.
You see, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m the perfect example of a Yo-Yo dieter.
I need a magical formula to lose weight, any gimmick will do as long as I buy into it, and when I get the weight off I go right back to all the habits that got me to gain weight in the first place.
So I thought maybe, just maybe, if I actually put this out there and actually own up to my terrible habits it may help me break them.
Maybe YOU will be able to help me with this!
Let’s start with portion control; that’s what gets me every time.
How on earth do people stop eating a bag of chips, candy, cookies, (anything) before it’s empty?
I just don’t get it.
What’s working for me right now is that I’m buying those individual portion packages.
The 100 calorie bags.
That seems to help.
I can still eat the whole bag that way.
Hopefully not the whole box.
All kidding aside, I really need to break this yo-yo cycle!
Dare I hope there is someone else out there in blog land that has this same problem?
And if so, how do you handle it?
Oh, and what was your favorite Fad Diet?