Exactly one week ago today I woke up not knowing who Jon Acuff was. I was staying at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville Tennessee, a long way from home. It was the first day of the Blissdom12 conference and I had no clue why I was there.
Then Jon Acuff walked into my life. He got up on that stage during the opening session and started talking…..and you won’t believe this, but he spoke directly to ME. Yes, somehow he knew exactly what I needed to hear that very moment. There were a lot of other women in that audience thinking he was talking to them but they were wrong.
It was me he came to see.
I was enthralled during the entire speech. At the end he did an extraordinary thing.
He gave every one in the audience a signed copy of his book, “Quitter”.
Was his speech about the book? I don’t think so. In fact I really couldn’t tell you what he said that day.
All I knew was this was a game changing moment.
I wish I could say I went to his book signing session afterwards and spoke to him in person, but alas, I didn’t. I was afraid to break the spell.
Two days later, on the flight home from Nashville I opened the book and started reading. Once again I got the feeling he wrote every word just for me.
See, just a couple weeks before Blissdom12 I had a conversation with my husband about wanting to quit my job and start out on my own. I thought I could do something with blogging and curb shopping and makeovers and selling my stuff……I don’t know, I had no real plan for HOW I was going to make my dreams into a real living, but I knew I wanted to. I needed to. I would just bust wide open if I couldn’t do it.
Yeah, I know. Overly dramatic.
What was really happening was that I was going through a lot of changes at work. My department was restructured and I was reassigned to a different job. I was resentful and hurt and afraid. I wanted to run away. I hated the thought of staying there a minute longer. I started to daydream about doing my own thing.
After doing some faulty math I figured we could afford it if we lived very carefully. When I let Mike know of my new plan I was shocked at his reaction. You see, he wasn’t enthusiastic at all. No, “Hey honey, that’s a great idea! “, nope, not even close. It was more like a dead silence, then a bunch of stupid questions about what we would live on, how would we save for retirement, how could we afford insurance, what about this, what about that. Then he started talking about taking on extra jobs after work to make ends meet.
This was not what I wanted to hear!
I backed down and said it wasn’t anything I was going to do right away anyway. I was just thinking about it, for crying out loud.
The subject was dropped. But we were both simmering inside. Mike with fear of financial ruin, and me with resentment at his lack of faith in me.
We didn’t know it but our marriage was in serious danger. I was on the verge of making a fatal error.
Then I met Jon, and read his book, and realized that my job was my friend, not an enemy. My job is what will allow me to follow my dreams, in fact fund my dreams. Quitting my job would be the worst thing I could do at this stage. This Quitter won’t be quitting anytime soon, yet strangely enough that doesn’t bother me anymore. I know I’m not ready; not yet.
Maybe someday I’ll be ready to quit the day job. And when that day comes Mike and I will still be happily married thanks to Jon Acuff coming to Blissdom to deliver his message to me in person.
(Oh, and Jon, don’t be too sad that I didn’t know who you were; I’m still trying to figure out who that Dave Ramsey guy is you were talking about..
Did he write a book too?)